I can't believe I didn't post this when it happened...so I'll back-track. My hope is that one day I can look back on this point in life on my blog and have some nice memories recorded of the journey. Especially when Shepard turns two, and I'm not sure if I really want to keep him (I kid, I joke, I kid.)
I spent about the first 8-9 weeks knowing I was pregnant trying to convince myself that it was true and that we had an actual due date on an actual calendar. It wasn't a "someday we'll have a baby..." anymore. It was "in July we'll have a baby."
I really struggled with some anxiety about whether there was REALLY a baby in there. Even the 9-weeks ultrasound didn't seem to quell those anxieties for long. I mean, shouldn't I be barfing or something?
I quickly signed up for all kinds of e-newsletters and scanned internet forums for news, tidbits, "am I allowed to eat that?" information, and downloaded the "What to Expect" app for my ipod.
The app updated me on the baby's size and growth milestones, and I began to pray every few days for whatever it was the baby was developing...heart, lungs, eyelids, fingernails, etc.
The day that got me though was the day that it said "His eardrums are developed now, so he can hear sounds like your voice..." What sweetness!!! Here I had known about him (or her as far as we knew then) for weeks and weeks...but suddenly he began to know about ME too! I got misty-eyed.
"Here I am, Baby!" I said aloud. "I love you." I hope he heard me. :) I'm sure I'll tell him again and again.