Dream Jobs

Don't you ever wonder what you might have been if you weren't what you are? At least in the employment division? I am currently an event planner. I make sure that we have a venue, flowers, candles, food, chairs, tables, lights, clean restrooms, guests, happy guests, traffic flow, parking...and do all of that perfectly so I'm ready for curveballs...like the table catching on fire in the reception hall right as the bride was walking into the adjacent room for her wedding (yes, it happened).
It never gets dull.
But, I often muse about made-up jobs I could have.
1. Editor of social media and blogs. I'm not all judge-y about grammar. (Clearly. I just used the word "judge-y.") But, I really like for people to use the right version of their/they're/there; here/hear; your/you're; loose/lose, etc. If I could surreptitiously edit folks' status updates without their knowing, I would sleep better at night. Some people are better at a myriad of things and spelling may not be at the top of their list. It's ok! I just love to read well-written and correctly spelled sentences. Call me crazy. And if you find misteaks on this here blog, you are welcum to coment.
2. Professional Sleep-Trainer
I am very good at sleeping. I have slept through numerous large storms, tornadic activity, (Is tornadic a word? My spell-checker says no. A quick visit to my online friend says yes.) dogs barking, etc. I go to sleep depths heretofore unknown to mankind. Even with a child. For a small fortune, I can train you to sleep deeply and well! (I make these claims with no knowledge as to whether they are true.) Wouldn't it be a DREAM job? (pause for pun-induced laughter)
3. Pizza Taste-tester.
I'm sure someone employs folks to taste their pizza. Unfortunately, my waistline has little tolerance for carb-loading. But in a dream world, I could do this job every day; NOT gain weight, and get paid.
4. Optical Center Opinionista
I recently had to go alone to choose some new frames for new glasses. I had my infant in tow, but he was more curious about his cheerios and the familiar-looking child in the mirror. He was no help, really. I guess I didn't HAVE to go alone, but I had an hour or so unaccounted for and needed to get that marked off the list. I'm good at eliminating the ugly. I narrowed it down to five. I nixed the red ones. Too Sally Jesse (if you were born after 1982, just keep moving...you don't get it) But what I needed was the OCO. Someone who will tell you if the frames make your cheeks look like the fourth member of the Chipmunks. Or if you suddenly look like Sarah Palin or Woody Allen. I chose. Hubby likes them. But my friend Cristina would agree, you need someone there to tell it straight. "Honey, those frames bring out the yellow in your complexion. Why don't we try a nice tortoise shell?" I could be that person.
5. Travel Book Writer
I suppose this one could be within reason and my reach. But Fodor's never called. And my non-profit/education salaries never afforded a hobbyist approach. I can hardly imagine a more interesting job, though. Go to museums, dives, and landmarks on someone else's dime and write about it? Yes, please! Maybe one day...
6. Tour Guide...of? Hmmm. Just about anything.
Yes, I realize this too could be within my reach. But fate has me settled in Rock Hill, SC, at the moment. There's not much to tour around here. I did give tours of my college campus for the admissions office. One summer, I did at least one tour every day for them. I loved it. I love talking with people, sharing history, answering questions...it never got old. When I'm old and gray or have the luxury of retirement, I am trotting to the nearest museum or historic site and will be a volunteer docent. I will make visual aids and sing songs. I have no shame...all in the name of TOUR GUIDE! One of the best tours I ever took was at Sainte Chappelle in Paris. The guide was mesmerizing. And though I had visited there twice before, she utterly changed the experience. She made the 12th century chapel come to life. I am inspired just thinking of her.
7. Floral Designer
Aside from allergies that may or may not be to flowers, and no idea how to get into it...I adore looking at floral arrangements and all the possibilities of modern floral arranging. I'm not really talking about FTD online. (ugh) I mean beautiful simplicity like this:

That level of floral design is stunning and creative. I am in awe. In my dream world, I can create such designs.
8. Finally, online Scrabble or Words with Friends player
I really could play all day, every day. I don't. But I could. Each turn is a puzzle, a challenge. My pulse quickens with the K or J pops up in my rack. I am a geek. I am an unashamed word geek. Last I checked, word geek doesn't pay very much. Our payment is a triple-word score bingo using a "Z." Cha-ching! Or should I say SHAZAAM?
We'll just leave it at that.
What would YOU like to be??


Hey...what happened?

I promised more posts. I opened posts last week and watched the cursor blink. I had nothing to say. My head was full of {insert whatever delightful word you prefer for "snot" here}. I was coughing up a lung (literally!), and I generally felt pretty crummy. Thoughts were not forming in my head. Shepard was sleeping like a dream, but I was having some trouble between all the nose-blowing and wheezing.  If there's anything I know from the last year or so, lack of sleep makes me a zombie. I cannot form thoughts and see them through. I wonder if that's how dimensia feels. As though you know there are some thoughts in there somewhere, but you can't access them no matter how hard you try.
My asthma and allergy meds have kicked in, and I'm working on evicting the snot.
That's all I have today. Just wanted to drop in and wave the flag of life. I'm still sad that I will never be on Oprah. It's her last week of shows. Not sure why she never invited me. We would have had a blast on a road trip.



To sleep, perchance to FEEL HUMAN.
One time, I went nearly a year without a full night's sleep. There were a few sprinkled here and there, but never more than two in a row. I have some kind of new respect for that Duggar lady with the 200 children. She has basically been breastfeeding for 20 years now. How does she seem so nice and normal? I knew that I didn't do well without proper sleep, but I had no idea what it was going to do to me over the long term.
I remember staying up all night in college to both read the book AND write the paper (in one night, yes...go go Gadget Speedreader...made a B on that, thankyouverymuch). And I remember being utterly fascinated by my rice krispies the next morning. You'd have thought I was on some sort of illegal substance.
Thankfully, Shepard is seemingly on track now for sleeping through the night. He still has a little spell here and there, but is really learning to self-soothe. I am on the road to feeling like a productive citizen of the earth now, and he's on the road toward independence.
While it's difficult to teach him this little lesson of independence, I know that it's for his well-being, both now and in the future. All I really want to do is go pick him up, squeeze him in reassurance that Mommy will always be there and rock him gently while gazing at his eyelashes in the low light of the nursery.
One of the greatest gifts my parents gave to me was the gift of independence and self-control. They allowed me to make decisions within my age range knowing I might choose unwisely. But they gave me tools all along the way, talked to me continually about right and wrong, better and best, and most of all...God. I had a strong sense of God watching me, not to smite me upon the first sin I committed. But watching OVER me and knowing what I was up to. I didn't want to hurt His heart. Now, I certainly wasn't perfect. I told my share of lies and half-truths (those are lies, too, I know!) and gossiped, etc. etc. But I do feel that my parents equipped me for making good life choices. I can only hope and pray to give Shepard the same tools.
This is my mother's heart for Shepard. To raise an independent, compassionate and God-fearing man. There are so many things I want for him; but if we can't get those going, anything else will be for naught. So, we'll start with sleep. And I imagine, we'll move on to table manners soon...if I can just keep that half-toothed grin from melting my resolve and giving in to every indulgent squeal...


Who's in Charge Here?

When I thought about what might comprise my meditative Monday post, I reflected on what my pastor spoke about just yesterday. We did an introduction to the book of Revelation. No, he's not crazy. Yes, we're all excited. There was a lot of background and context, and some disclaimers. The main thing I walked away with is that just like the rest of the New Testament, Revelation is about Jesus Christ--who He is, His character and nature. The first sentence of Revelation tells us that. Everything else in Revelation continues to let us know who is in charge. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
He's bigger than our fears, smarter than any terrorist, outside of space and time; and he has already conquered death, hell and the grave. He's in charge. The world doesn't look like it yet, but it's still true.
What I didn't realize is that Osama Bin Laden would turn up dead last night. I watched the news with mixed emotions today. When did we as a nation decide that it's ok to dance and celebrate over death? Did Osama deserve death for what he's done? Probably. But I am not the judge of the universe. Don't all of us deserve death for our sins? That's what my Bible teaches. That's why we need the cross, the sacrifice.  I am not comfortable with rejoicing over the death of a human. You can reduce him to sub-human if you want, and justify your bloodlust. But we have not conquered evil. We have not overcome the true enemy through our military force.
Revelation says that we will overcome through the blood of the Lamb, the word of our testimony, and loving not our lives unto death. We destroyed the face of evil, but not evil itself. Only when Jesus brings the Kingdom of God to fruition on earth will evil be eradicated. Until then, we can pray "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Jesus taught us to pray this prayer because the Kingdom of God CAN be realized on earth through our living out our lives in love, deference, compassion and forgiveness...NOW. I am reminded that Jesus died even for the lowliest, even Bin Laden.

I leave you with the Beatitudes and the picture Jesus himself drew of a world upside-down. A world that paints peacemaking and meekness as strength. Blessing enemies, turning the other cheek and all kinds of ideas that are counter-intuitive in our current world system. Imagine a world that worked like this:
(Matthew 5)
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.