I know that we can't rewind time. Because how many of us would just abuse the HECK out of that? That time when we asked the lady when she was due and she replied that she wasn't pregnant...remember when you tripped and fell on your face in front of a whole class of people...or how about when you cussed in front of your parents in sixth grade and only avoided a mouth pop because of your fine ducking skills? But rewinding time would give people seemingly perfect lives...these kinds of experiences teach us and make us stronger...or better duckers.
But I have a genuine New Year's problem. Here we are on January 10, and I the only resolution I've remotely committed to is my husband's...not to have or live up to any resolutions! So, I'm going to reschedule my New Year's day if it's all the same to everyone. In the hub-bub of unpacking the Christmas suitcases, taking down the tree (and everything else I put out), finding the stuff that I put away to make room for Christmas decor, and celebrating an anniversary, I lost myself.
I am a dyed-in-the-wool resolution-maker. I love it. The clean slate. The free pass to be completely optimistic, to re-think my patterns, to erase my mistakes. Even better than my time-rewind. It's a knowledgeable looking back and gazing forward. It says, "I didn't do it all just right, but here's another opportunity..." To refresh friendships, to send birthday cards out on time, to eat healthfully, to carve out time to exercise, to quit drinking hot chocolate in my coffee (well, let's not go too overboard!)...to pray without ceasing, to soak in God's word (and not just apply it as a bandaid when something is hurt), to be diligent at whatever I am doing.
New Year's Day is my favorite day of the year. I just didn't take the time to do my New Year's rituals this year. My journal sat in a pile of stuff on my desk that I've been meaning to clean off for months. I must have muffled its cry for a resolution list by piling gardening books and sketchbooks on top of it.
I think that tomorrow, January 11, will be my new years's day. It just has an extra "1." I need these. I realize not everyone does, but I do. I take so little time to reflect during a given day...I simply drive and move and shower and clean and cook and eat and breathe and read and pray and brush teeth and sleep and roll over and do it all again.
So, I am going to write my list today, in preparation for tomorrow. I certainly don't have to WAIT for New Year's to do anything. But I like it as a marker in my life, to look back and see the changes I felt I needed to make, to see where my diligence has lapsed, or how I've succeeded. Sadly, I will likely not convince my job that I need a second run at the day with a free day off...
But, list in hand, I will tackle 2008 with a set of objectives and some God-sized help.
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!