Clothe me, Lord

I made a crazy decision to go a whole year without purchasing clothing for myself. A whole year, y'all. Here's the post on that in case you're not caught up on your "keeping up" reading...
I just felt that I should make use of the clothing I had and not feed my shopping habit. Some of you have asked me how it's going. I like to imagine about 400 of you cheering me on. I know this is also crazy, but it helps when I'm having a weak moment...
Like Friday. At Target. I went with no real list, other than Jerod needed some hair gel, Shepard could use some more socks, and I wanted to look at kiddo riding toys. I mean, why not just STROLL through the ladies clothing department? What could it hurt? I had a personal gift card I could use, so I wouldn't even spend actual MONEY if I found something. (justify much?) I looked and looked. I settled on a black and white tank top. I put it in the cart. I kept looking. I moved to shoes. If they had had those coral wedge sandals in my size, those would have gone in the cart too. I circled back into the clothing section. Tank top went back on the shelf. I really needed to pull down my summer/spring stuff before I go buying anything, I thought.
Come on, Shelley!
Then I moved on to the toddler clothes section. I filled the cart with cute little boy shorts and matching shirts for summer. Then made my way to the toy section...then felt compelled to go put most of the toddler clothes back too. I need to see what he has stashed away in the attic too, and since it's just March, there is no need to purchase his entire warm-weather wardrobe! I was having an all-out battle.
"Come on, Shelley, it was just a $9 tank top and some kid shorts..."

Yes, and it's more than that too. It's trusting God to provide. It's acknowledging that he is my source, for material goods and for my fulfillment. It's about being a steward of the closet I've amassed. It's about this:

 Matthew 6: 25“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26“Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27“And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28“And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31“Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32“For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 And I realize that not everyone needs to do what I'm doing. But it's important for me. Likewise, on Sunday, it all came home to me with Colossians 3.

12Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

I think the Lord sometimes uses real-life lessons to show us what He wants to do in our hearts. He wants me to worry about a different kind of clothing during this season. Not about being beautiful or stylish on the outside for others to see, but about being compassionate and beautiful on the inside, because I allowed his love and compassion to flow through me. As our pastor said yesterday, we don't need to just put the old ways behind us, we need to adopt NEW ways. We need to move forward with things to DO and do them.

So, perhaps this year will bring some new God-colored clothes my way. And as much as I've always detested anything heart-shaped in my style, I hope that's exactly what I'm going to get.

Perhaps I need a new motto?

ps. In the continuing trend of God's uncanny provision, our dear neighbors offered Shepard a little riding toy yesterday...two days after I looked at them specifically at Target...I'm just saying.